My ambition's to go on the stage;
From this you can se that I've got 'em.
In pantomine I'm all the rage,
I'm the hole in the elephant's bottom.
His balls they hang so low
I think I could knot 'em,
As I wink at the girls in the pit
Through the hole in the elephant's bottom.
The man who plays the front part
Is absolutely rotten,
All he can do is to fart
Through the hole in the elephant's bottom.
Oh! the girls think that I'm it,
As they sit in the stalls I can spot 'em,
And I wink at the girls in the pit
Through the hole in the elephant's bottom.
A young lady stood at the stage door.
She said you're a film star I can spot em.
You're Douglas Fairbanks, I said me Mam no thanks
I'm the hole in the elephants bottom.
One night we performed in a farce
And they stuffed up the bottom with cotton,
But it split and I showed my bare arse
Through the hole in the elephant's bottom.
There are pockets inside in the cloth
For two bottles of Bass, if you got 'em.
But they hiss and they boo when I blow out the froth
Through the hole in the elephant's bottom.
Now my part hasn't got any words
But there's nothing that can't be forgotten,
I spend all my time pushing property turds
Through the hole in the elephant's bottom.
Some may think that this story is good
And some may believe that it's rotten,
But those that don't like it can stuff it right up
The hole in the elephant's bottom.
Should the Japanese make an attack,
Then hundreds of bombs they will drop 'em,
But we'll keep 'em at bay with an Oerliken gun
Through the hole in the elephant's bottom.
|
